Amoris laetitia

by Don Nico Rutigliano

Pope Francis chose to comment on the Hymn to Charity and not the Song of Songs in Amoris Laetitia, because he wanted to focus the apostolic exhortation on concreteness. 

Many marriages would have ended if there wasn't the charity that Saint Paul talks about, because many times marital indissolubility is seen more as an effort by the spouses, than the daily response to something greater than the spouses themselves.

Without the presence of God-Love, Christian spouses play empty, they strum without sound. If on the one hand this leads Christian spouses to have an extra push, therefore a great gift for which they can be responsible, on the other hand it leads them to not be able to consider marital fidelity as their effort (and therefore a merit), but as something that was given to them. It's like having a gift that no one asked for, but was given to them. It was definitely given to them the moment we got married in a Christian way.

They can only experience this presence of sacramental Grace if they have experienced it, touched it, savored it; only if they felt they had been loved by God. All the perfect organization of their days: home, school, children, sport, meetings, the group, are nothing if there is no communion between them . Where do they get this extra gear? Where is this energy that animates their days?

In fact, they cannot give that love "poured into our hearts" on their own. The risk is that they may think they are self-sufficient, that they can do things on their own. Saint Paul actually says that there is no point in having talents if love is lacking. So how many times do we not bear witness to the God who is behind our works? Many times the marriage is apparently perfect: the house is perfect; everything is organized down to the smallest detail, but you feel dissatisfied. Love is missing! Love imposes itself, and nothing is more credible than the testimony of a family that loves each other in its small daily difficulties. Charity is not said. Charity, in fact, is recognized.

The concreteness of Amoris Laetitia speaks of magnanimity, benevolence, patience. 

Patience is not letting them continually mistreat us, it is not an ability to tolerate everything, but it is knowing how to postpone an action, knowing how to act without aggression.

The love that St. Paul speaks of is also benevolent. Benevolence means trying to bring the good out of everything, not dwelling on the bad, but being able to bring good fruit from every situation. Benevolence is not the result of human effort, but is a gift. We Christians know that whatever happens, God will be able to bring good out of evil, and something greater out of an offense.

When there is an argument between a husband and wife and it now seems irreparably compromised, it is very difficult to accept the fact that the person who is saying those ugly things is the same one who said "I love you" and said he wants to be with you for lifetime. 

Love can bring out the good even if you have been hurt.

“Love hopes for all things”. The hope is to see the glass half full. Hope is something greater, because it always has an object, and the fundamental object of hope is the promise. It is the promise of Heaven, the promise of something great. Every Christian couple, in the light of the Hymn to Charity, should express their daily "hymn to charity" every single day, in the concreteness of every day. Even if the husband threw out the garbage every day spontaneously, without his wife having to ask him a thousand times, but she didn't have her charity, they would both still find other opportunities for conflict. If the wife cooked every day the delicious dish that her husband likes so much, but she didn't have her charity, there would still be no flavor in their days. If she also stopped screaming and acting like a neurotic wife, but she didn't have charity, it wouldn't make sense for her to even arrive on time for dinner. When Christian spouses experience that Jesus Christ is Charity, true Charity, their days change perspective. They discover that it is Christ who has dried and continues to dry our tears when they do not understand each other and when they manage to hurt each other with words. 

It is He who binds their wounds when we bring up the past and old stories with their parents of origin.

It is He who smiles when they just can't stay without arguing.

It is He who gives the capacity for self-irony capable of playing down. If we didn't make fun of each other and took everything seriously, there would most likely be even more opportunities for conflict.

So, in conclusion, all married Christians can celebrate their Hymn to Charity every day.