The second sacrament of Christian Initiation is… Confirmation. In fact, this is what the list of the seven sacraments that we studied in catechism says (Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist, Penance...) and this is how all theology texts explain. Yet, if we ask our children or grandchildren what the second sacrament they have received is, they will all answer Confession, then Communion and finally Confirmation. How come? Without getting lost in complex details, we can say that the inversion between Confirmation and Eucharist was carried out not for theological reasons, but for practical issues, linked to the occasional presence of the Bishop who had to administer this sacrament, and has become ordinary practice in Italy only after the Second World War. In recent years there have been some interesting attempts to put things right, within a framework of overall reformulation of the paths to becoming Christian.

This small, perhaps somewhat technical, introduction is however fundamental for understanding Confirmation well and helping the children of our family to live this very important moment well. The inversion between Communion and Confirmation has in fact somewhat distorted the meaning of the latter and has caused the Eucharist to lose its role as the pinnacle of the path to becoming Christian. So, first of all, we must say what Confirmation is not exactly, what its reductive, partial or even misleading definitions are, which often return even in our languages.

Confirmation is not first and foremost the sacrament that specifically makes us witnesses of Christ or, as they once said, "soldiers of Christ". Testimony is the fruit of the entire Christian life and not the sole effect of life according to the Spirit. 

Confirmation is not the sacrament of maturity, what makes us adult Christians. Here the definition is really wrong. The sacrament of Christian maturity is the Eucharist, not Confirmation! It was the postponed placement that made people say this thing which, in reality, is not theologically founded.

Finally, Confirmation, or Confirmation, is not the personal confirmation of the faith received in Baptism. First of all because the Lord is at work in every sacrament and therefore it is He who confirms our faith and not vice versa, and then because this definition is understandable only starting from our somewhat problematic practice.

But then what is Confirmation, what should we say to our children and grandchildren who are about to experience this moment? With a vaguely mathematical formulation (but the kids know what a proportion is!) we could say that Baptism is to Confirmation as Easter is to Pentecost. There is no great difference in content between Easter and Pentecost: it is the same Paschal mystery seen from the side of the resurrection of Jesus (Baptism) and from that of the gift of the Spirit, the principle of new life (Confirmation). The Gospel of John already reminds us of this, which unifies the two moments by speaking of the emission of the Spirit during the death of the Lord. Therefore, if Baptism marks the transition from death to life, Confirmation shows the development of the new life given to us by Jesus. The same thing, seen from two different points.

This renewed understanding of the sacrament of Confirmation allows us to motivate some very concrete choices. First of all, it makes no sense to delay Confirmation until a young or adult age, perhaps before getting married, just because the certificate is needed. The journey to becoming Christians needs to be concluded, especially if the gesture of adult Christians, that is, participation in the Eucharist, is anticipated and practiced. We invite children to continue the journey after First Communion and to welcome the gift of the Spirit! On the other hand, precisely because Confirmation indicates a positive development of Christian life, it is completely senseless to invite children to celebrate this sacrament "so you don't think about it anymore and if you then want to continue attending the parish you will do so freely". The Spirit is an impetuous wind, it is a burning fire, it does not put an end to anything but revives and supports everything. Accompanying a boy to Confirmation means supporting him and introducing him further into an engaging and exciting journey. Many others will already be thinking of clipping his wings, pushing him to settle, suggesting he play the low game. How sad to think that similar messages can come from the family, from those who love these kids most.

So what can we propose in a positive way? There are two lists of words of biblical origin and included in the catechism that deserve to be reviewed and re-proposed to children: the gifts of the Spirit (taken from the book of Isaiah) and the fruits of the Spirit (listed by Saint Paul in the letter to the Galatians).

One of the most beautiful exercises we can do is to imagine our children according to these two lists: strong, intelligent, wise, fearful, capable of judgment and knowledge, compassionate towards God and towards men, and then full of love, full of joy , builders of peace, rich in magnanimity and benevolence, good men, faithful, gentle, capable of dominating themselves. What beautiful humanity! How can we not want our children and grandchildren to be men and women like this? How can we not talk to them about a future built according to this plan which is the fruit of Jesus' Easter? Let's invite them, push them, involve them so that they grow in this way. He is not indifferent to their fate.