We willingly spend ourselves for our values, even if they require time and effort, because in this way we experience the pleasure of being ourselves, as well as making others understand what interests us and is important to us.
di Vito Viganò
NWe are our values. We are attached to important realities such as family, religious faith, an ideal, an exciting activity, and these are the "paths" on which we proceed in our life, which allow us to obtain what matters and to give meaning to existence. They are our "backbone" that ensures consistency and stability to the character we feel we are.
For this reason we take care of the continuity in practicing them. We willingly spend ourselves for values, even if they require time and effort, because in this way we experience the pleasure of being ourselves and of functioning as we should, in addition to making others understand what interests us and is important to us.
And yet life goes on: events that happen, conditions that change, encounters that occur, different needs appear in the various phases of existence. Therefore, one can feel compelled to introduce variations in one's scale of values for a better quality of life.
It can also happen that we encounter difficulties due to two opposing needs, which must be reconciled because they are both essential. Faithful continuity in practicing a value is fine with us, for example a commitment to community service; however, sometimes we need to give it up due to personal limitations, or to make room for new forces, more effective ways of collaborating for the common good. Often, it is only the concrete ways of practicing a value that need to be updated and adapted.
A gratifying continuity. It is normal to be attached to one's own scale of values. They are the fruit of a personal conquest, sometimes the effect of patient research or of a sudden discovery. There was the commitment to seek and adopt a personal way of living them; they were then practiced regularly until they became part of our identity. Without us realizing it, they have guided our important choices, the conditions in which we live today: our profession, the activities in which we are most busy, religious practice, the relationships and social contacts in which we are involved, the aspirations and objectives for which we want to spend ourselves. Precisely by dedicating ourselves thoughtfully to our values, we have built and consolidated the gratifying sense that we recognize in our living and the awareness of our own identity. Practicing them assiduously produces the refined pleasure of being and expressing ourselves for what we are, of feeling convinced of what we do, supported by good reasons for willingly spending ourselves.
Strategic changes in values. But living is changing: you can't do without it. You are immersed in a field of continuous changes in reality and at the same time your internal, physical and emotional conditions are constantly changing. You have to adapt to the facts that happen, to the needs that gradually emerge, to the desires that you feel. An aspiration to evolve, to grow, is born within us, which leads to no longer being satisfied with what previously seemed a satisfactory achievement.
Events, discoveries, encounters, examples occur that can lead to even radical changes in one's ways of living. Sometimes a conversion makes a previously neglected religious practice a priority. The enthusiasm of dedicating oneself to a new project leads one to leave aside activities and situations that previously had too much space.
Changes in the scale of acquired values are never easy; it is hard to replace or let go of what has occupied an important part of one's inner reality. But there are times when change is indispensable, perhaps to accommodate a leap in the quality of one's existence. Inside us there is a desire to improve that urges us to do something more, just when what is an acquired good has become normal and repetitive, so much so that it is no longer enough. Fortunately, we are willing to change, giving up previous values only for what seems to be a greater value, more in line with our identity, which allows for different and more intense gratifications.
An intelligent loyalty. Practicing what is truly worthwhile is in itself satisfying, makes life dignified and serene, nourishes self-esteem. It guarantees the added value of fidelity and coherence, precious in relationships. However, it takes the wisdom to recognize that continuity can at the same time put you to sleep, or worse; it can become a golden cage that dampens evolutionary and improvement desires, prevents you from discovering and opening up to fuller meanings for existence. Changing is living. It is worth doing, even if it is tiring, for a fuller life. Only what is perceived internally as essential and untouchable cannot be neglected or let go with impunity. The inevitable consequences of this will be regret and dissatisfaction. It is not appropriate, therefore, to give in to seductive and fleeting fashions, to impulses of the moment, to the influences of practices that are valid for others but less so for oneself. Intelligent fidelity has a name: discernment, a difficult prerogative but capable of prudent evaluations, of careful openings, of careful management of stimuli and solicitations, to guarantee us the only thing that ensures full meaning to our life: fidelity to ourselves.
